A Novelty Idea

Posted on October 11, 2011 by

I promised I wouldn’t get political on my next blog, and I intend to keep that promise.  Although, it is becoming increasingly difficult not to vent.  I wish I could fast forward to after the election….or move.  Anywho….

I promised my daughter I’d write about  buying her toys.  So, here is a little psychology lesson for you parents out there:

Children want new toys….this shouldn’t be a shocking statement.  Children do have a novelty preference, although we typically discuss this with infants, it holds true with older kids to an extent.  A novelty preference is when kids prefer something new, over something they are overly familiar with.  This is based on the ideas of habituation and dishabituation.  Habituation refers to increased awareness or response to something new as opposed to something familiar.  Dishabituation refers to a decreased response to something the more familiar we become with it.  In short, we tend to get excited by new things, and ignore the things we are used to.  Ring any bells neglectful adults?  :)

The novelty preference and ideas of habituation and dishabituation explain in some regard the travesty that is every trip to Wal-Mart with my children.  Zoey believes that she needs a new toy everytime we go to the store.  Ironically, there are boxes of neglected toys at the house, collecting dust, sad….lonely.  I tried to explain that to Zoey.  She understood she had old toys….and explained subtely the difference between old toys and new ones.  It went something like this:

“Daddy, those toys are old and not for big kids.  New toys are for big kids.”

I’m a big kid.  Can I have an IPAD2?

I know my wife and I spoil the girls, buy them toys they don’t need, and give in a little too much….especially at Wal-Mart.  I can’t help it….even when they are throwing tantrums (which seems to be frequently) they are adorable….and I fold like a lawn chair.  I know that kids have a novelty preference, and new things are great….but I also know there is comfort in the familiar.  Certain things can’t be replaced….like daddies. :)

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It’s Christie….not Christ.

Posted on October 5, 2011 by

Hey Republicans, I have a question…..WTF?  Seriously, how many times does Chris Christie have to say he isn’t running before you let it sink in?  The great thing is…you guys don’t know what the hell you want, and you wouldn’t know a qualified “republican” candidate if he rode up on a white horse and slapped you in the face.  The Republican party switched their attention from Michelle Bauchman’s crazy eyes, and onto Rick Perry in the blink of an eye.  Unfortunately for Rick Perry, running for political office requires one to speak occassionally in public….not a strong suit.  It took about 3 days for you all to realize he was bat shit crazy, and you immediately decided that this Chris Christie guy should be the next President.  Although, he doesn’t seem to think so.  He has stated on record numerous times that he has no interest in running, doesn’t care to run, isn’t in to it….or however you need it phrased.  Now, a child would be able to decipher that code….IM NOT RUNNING……LEAVE ME ALONE.  It’s really a shame.  I wish he would run….I think it would be really funny once the debates start up again and these uniformed moronic Republicans get a whiff of Christie’s policies.  For example:

He is not opposed to the Obamacare policy.

He is for gun-control.

He is pro-choice, or at the very least, his policies have continued to allow New Jersey to fund abortions.

He is in favor of amnesty for illegal aliens.

He is….wait for it….not against homosexuals despite his religious affiliation.  ( I know….he must not be a REAL religious person).

He was for the Mosque at ground zero.
Now, these all seem like more liberal or left-leaning ideals than anything else.  So, why are the republican’s so excited about this guy?  Because they don’t know what the hell they want….they just don’t want Obama.  Truth be told….we have had conservative leadership…and now we have a democrat….who is more of a centrist than anything else.  I’m ready for a hardcore liberal.  Somebody step up.  Fox News is still running straw polls showing Christie ahead of Perry.  CHRISTIE ISN”T RUNNING YO U JACKASSES!  There are no conceivable reasons for anyone to be a republican or a democrat for that matter.  The two party system has done little for anyone, but fight and arm wrestle us into a shit-economy.  It’s not Bush’s fault, it’s not Obama’s fault….its the system….and sometimes, you can fix systems….you just have to replace them with something better.

 

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HealthScare

Posted on September 30, 2011 by

In 2004, Texas made a move to attempt to make school meals healthier.  2004.  I can attest to the data both related to the “healthier” meals and the results, and both indicate that nothing has really been done at all.  My daughter still only has two choices for a drink in the morning with her breakfast…..chocolate milk and apple juice.  The most common response I hear is:  “Well, she has a choice.”  Which is so assinine that I want to cram  chocolate milk down someone’s throat when they say it.  It’s exceedingly hard for an adult, with all the information that is out there about obesity, nutrition, health etc., to simply “choose” better.  How do we expect little children, with very little understanding of the role their food choices play in their health, to make good decisions about food?  The other statement I hear is, “well it’s difficult for the schools to provide a square healthy meal for only a  $1 a meal.  This is certainly true, however, that information is inaccurate. The Obama administration budgeted an extra $1 billion a year for lunch programs to expand access and raise reimbursements to districts for meals. Schools now get $2.68 per lunch.  I can make a balanced meal at my house for much less than $2.68, and I can do it in five minutes.  That is no longer an excuse.  People often complain that eating healthy is more expensive.  So is diabetes, or any number of other healthcare issues related to obesity.  In addition, eating healthy doesn’t have to be expensive.  If you are buying “healthy choice” meals or organic this  or that, then  yes, you are paying too much for something that may or may not be helping.  Vegetables, Fruits, can be much more affordable than your box of twinkies or fast food meals….so that excuse is equally trite.  The truth is, we are lazy, and we are passing it to our kids. 

You don’t think obesity is a problem for kids?  The UT Health Science Center and the Baylor School of Medicine recently received 6.28 million dollars in grant money specifically to fight obesity in children.  Over 30% of school children are obese in the state of Texas, which is excessive, and represents a sad trend affecting our youth.  It starts at home, and continues in the school.  Everyone has got to get on the same page.  Otherwise, we are going to deplete the economy even further by constantly accessing resources for healthcare issues related directly to our poor choices.

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2 for 1 Special on Funyuns!

Posted on September 29, 2011 by

Two posts in one day….what the what.  I’m sitting in my office, and I should be polishing my dissertation proposal.  Unfortunately, my brain aches, and i’m starving.  It’s taking every ounce of energy that I have to keep from punching through the glass of the snack machine and furiously forcing funyuns down my gullet.  Have you ever been that type of hungry.  Anger hungry….the kind of hungry that has you considering cannabalism…..no….just me. 

I’ve been eating healthier lately.  My wife is pretty good inspiration.  She’s gorgeous….and I look like a some kind of anthropomorphic ziplocked bag full of marshmellows.  Seriously, you know you need to adjust your lifestyle when people look at you when  you are walking in public with your wife, like you have cancer and are living out your “one last fantasy” to walk in the park with a pretty lady.  When strangers approach you with a look that screams, “Awe, that’s sweet that she stayed with him after he was mangled in stampede,” you know it’s time to hop on the treadmill.  I will admit, I feel great.  I’ve not been this fit since undergrad, and I was swimming in alcohol and sadness then.  It’s amazing what a little discipline will get you.  I also have a lot more energy, which makes me feel more alive.  In response, I want to be more active with the kids, and I have more energy….and amazingly more tolerance to their nonsense.  I’m more patient.  I typically have quite a temper.  It’s not unusual for me to respond to a stranger who says, “well I disagree with you,” with a baby powdered slap to the face.  However, I just feel more aligned…..spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally.  So, perhaps there is something to this whole….taking care of yourself thing.    Also i’ve been doing a lot of heroin.  So maybe its that.

 

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I’m back and i’m a demopublican.

Posted on September 29, 2011 by

I will open this new blog with an apology.  Although, I’m not quite sure who reads this, so I’m not sure who I am apologizing to.  It’s been a long time since I have posted, in fact, I forgot that I had a blog.  I was reminded that I had a blog by a young student of mine, who mentioned that he didn’t think it was necessary to take a writing class.   I’m not going to go into a discussion on the merits of writing, because I don’t want to address that issue here.  I also don’t feel like dipping my toes into that sea of ignorance, so i’ll just move on.  I was reminded in that moment how much I enjoy writing.  If for no other reason, than because it entertains me.  I’d like to think this blog is read elsewhere, by others, but I have no delusions…..psychosis, narcisicm, cynisicm, yes…but no delusions.    I had forgotten how good it felt to vent, however misguided.  So, I plan to start using this thing again….because I rarely have  a day that i’m not overwhelmed with a desire to scream at something or someone.  So, be advised. 

I did want to mention something that has been on my mind.  I’m getting a bit older, and perhaps a bit more cynical.  I have noticed that the more i’m exposed to young people, my students in particular, i’m concerned for the direction we are taking.  One day in one of my writing classes, I prompted students to write a story about one of our leaders.  Past or present, they could choose from Washington to Obama. I had a student, a young female, state the following: “Well i’m not choosing Obama, because I don’t like him.”  I responded, and probably shouldn’t have, with: “Why don’t you like him.”  She went on to mentioned how she liked George Bush, etc. etc.  Now, I don’t care if she liked Richard Nixon, but that didn’t answer my original question.  Why don’t you like Obama?  After what seemed like 5 minutes of awkward silence, she finally said, well….I don’t like his policies.  So once again, against better judgement, I responded, “Hmmm, can you name one.”  Now, some of you can see this coming….and before you cry foul or start clicking the X because you don’t wanna hear any liberal b.s….here me out.  She couldn’t name a policy….which led to my questioning all of my class to name any one policy of our current administration.  The response, and overwhelming silence that made my brain bleed.  In a room full of 22, voting aged youth, not one could name a single policy of our current administration, or of any of the current candidates who are seeking the GOP nomination.  Nevertheless, they all had staunch opinions, one way or the other.  They were either die hard Republicans or die hard Democrats, with absolutely no qualified explanation of what those groups represent. 

I mention all of this to say the following:

First to parents.  Stop telling your kids to like a group, while withholding information that will prepare them to understand why they are liking it.  It makes them look ignorant, and you lazy.  If you don’t have enough of an understanding of your own political viewpoint to explain it thoroughly to your kids, then you shouldn’t be explaining anything to them.  That is how stupidity, misconception, stereotypes, etc. get perpetuated. 

Second to the voting Youth.  Stop drinking the Kool Aid.  Borrowing a common tea party expression (I know, I know), I’m going to use it as it’s meant to be used.  Stop believing everything you are told.  Investigate, research, read, CARE!  Don’t just look at one media outlet, look at them all, go to the Guardian UK website, read statistics, inform yourselves so that you understand where you should align yourself politically.  Many of the issues that are being argued today by men who will be dead before the policies are inacted, will greatly effect you in your life.  You should care!  Anything short of an informed decision regarding matters of politics, or even religion for that matter….is lazy and ignorant.

Ok…that’s it…i’m done…..don’t hate.  I love you all.

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Nobel Schmobel

Posted on October 9, 2009 by

You’re right Jim Morrison, people are strange. 

I’ve been reading all these comments online about people up in arms about Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize.  I think it’s hilarious how angry that makes people.  Really, you’re mad?  Get mad at the Norwegians, or their leftist parliment that chooses the committee that ultimately decides who wins, but getting mad at Obama?  That’s ridiculous.  It’s not his fault they made the decision.  I personally have no problem with the President, he’s doing no better or worse than I beleive anyone would do right now, given the climate.  Do I think the Nobel Peace Prize was premature, of course I do.  I don’t, however, believe this should be the source of anger for anyone.  It’s obvious the committee chose him as a sign of encouragement, and hopefully it spurns action.  This is not unprecendented.  Woodrow Wilson, who formed the league of nations was awarded the prize, based solely on the concept of the league of nations.  The league of nations, as you history buffs know, ultimately failed.  Nevertheless, the global (not american) opinion of Wilson was high at the time, because it was seen as a method to unite the world, a step towards peace.  Ignoring the fact that the Nobel Committee is extremely leftist and has made a habit of awarding the peace prize to those aligned center/left,  (Al Gore, Jimmy Carter, Desmond Tutu) we can reasonably assume that the committee is hoping to put a jolt of electricity in the Obama administration to put some action with the words he’s so fond of using.  I’m not angry he won the award, honestly I find it hilarious that people are.  Most of you reading this cannot name the past five Nobel Peace Prize winners without googling it, so let’s not act like Obama beat you out for Prom King.  This award reflects the opinion of a few leftist committee members, who hope to encourage our President towards peace, and I don’t have a problem with that.  I hope it works.

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Impending Doom

Posted on October 2, 2009 by

I should really be studying right now, but i’m not feeling very studious.  I have my qualifying examination in November.  This is the test I must pass in order to be a candidate for my PhD.  I’ve been very scatter-brained lately, trying to outline what I must study.  It’s all a little overwhelming.  Those around me appear to be feeling the effects of my anxiety.  This morning I gave a snotty look to one of the “pink ladies” at the hospital.  These volunteer workers, basically the nicest humans on the planet, have a station in the foyer of the hospital, andthey smiled at me this morning and one of them said, “Have a lovely day sir.”  They do this often, but my normal response is something along the lines of, “and you as well.”  But this morning, i’m sure my crabby demeanor and sullen look screamed, “I hate your pink outfits and embarassingly optimistic point of view.”  I’m going to take them some cookies this afternoon and apologize. 

It’s bad enough when you are an a-hole to a complete stranger.  Yesterday, I was in a meeting, day-dreaming about not being in a meeting, and I lost track of time.  Next thing you know, I realized I was supposed to pick my daughter up from pre-school and take her to day-care.  I was mortified.  When I picked her up, I asked if she was ok, and she smiled and looked none the wiser.  I  felt like a jerk.  When I was buckling her into the car, I asked her again if she was ok, and she turned and said, “are you ok daddy.”  Yes, daddy’s fine, he’s just forgetful.

I have a feeling the next few months are going to be highly stressful, and I’ll try hard not to accost any sweet old ladies, or ignore my children.  Maybe i’ll try meditation, or coffee.  Something to take the edge off. As always, im open to suggestions that i’ll largely ignore. 

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NFHELL: The Salary Cap Debacle

Posted on September 22, 2009 by

I’m a little concerned about the future of the National Football League.  I know what your thinking, “shouldn’t you be more worried about the economy, swine flu, terrorism, or whether or not Obama has begun his mutation into the anti-christ. ”  Don’t be ridiculous, and also don’t be a moron.  No, the NFL…that’s where my concerns lie.  Recently we received word that the NFL may be without a salary cap next year.   We are on the slippery slope towards impending sports doom here people.  NO SALARY CAP!  This is the kind of assinine move that will turn Football into….wait for it….BASEBALL.  dun dun dun!!!!

Baseball, as i’ve mentioned in previous blogs, is dumb.  I repeat…dumb.  It’s boring, the athletes are overpayed (I admit, so are most other athletes), and the steriod thing is becoming somewhat comical.  Before you say, “Hey this guys a douche, he probably hates baseball because he sucks at it,”  let me clear something up.  Yes, I suck at baseball.  That’s not why I hate it.  Here is a list of things I also suck at that I like more than baseball:

1.  Juggling

2.  Pantomime

3.  Farming

4.  Being Polite

5.  Making things out of legos

6.  Doing Yardwork or really any manual labor

7.  Golf

8.  Baking

ETC.

So, my deepest fear, is that an NFL without a salary cap may turn big market teams like the infinite bank account Dallas Cowboys into the New York Yankees.  Now, before you have an orgasm Cowboys fans, let me remind you the Yankees have a lot of money, but haven’t hung a banner in awhile, and currently have at least three admitted steriod users on their roster (that has nothing to do with the salary cap, but I hate the yankees).  I’m not just picking on the Cowboys.  My favorite team, the Washington Redskins, have notoriously deep pockets as well.  I just don’t want to wake up and hear about a football player signing an Alex Rodriguez like 350 million dollar contract or something ridiculous like that.  It sullies the game.  Yeah sullies.  I don’t know if that’s a word, shut up. 

My advice to the commish, get your wife to buy your ties…terrible.  Also, say no to the 86ing of the salary cap.  Salary Caps help keep the teams honest, not all of them (patriots) but most of them.  Getting rid of this boundary will certainly lead to the destruction of the league.  Or something like that.

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Tool Time

Posted on September 4, 2009 by

It’s been a devastating dose of reality in the Berry household this past few weeks.  We returned home from a vacation to visit my parents, and found that our refridgerator had exploded.  The damage after all was said and done included the flooring in both our laundry room and kitchen.  It’s now been several weeks, and our house still looks like we host rodeos in it.  Our floor is torn to hell, and we are in desperate need of new appliances.  My cousin has been gracious enough to lend his expertise, and has about tiled our laundry room.  In addition, he did a lot of other stuff that was very helpful.  I also failed to mention that the bathroom, our master bathroom, is completely gutted.  Yeah, I know.  I’m like every guy…I couldn’t wait to destory it, but once I did, I didn’t know what the hell to do next.  I’ll probably beg and barter to get my cousin to help me with that as well.  He really is very good. 

All of that to say, it saddens me that I know so little about these things.  If I were a useful human male, i’d have tiled my floors, and fixed my kitchen myself.  Not to mention, i’d have already remodeled my bathroom, and given my wife her own space, so that she could relax once and awhile.  Unfortunately, I know as much about tools, as I do about the sasquatch.  I believe they exist, but I have no real evidence to support that. 

It’s actually quite humorous, the connection men have to things like tools.  I walk in a home depot, and its like a fat kid at a pie factory.  I’m so enamored by everything I see, and I wouldn’t know the first thing about how to use any of it.  I actually looked at table saws the other night, and seriously considered buying one.   Then I thought, what would I do with this saw…and I had no answer.  I know a lot of you guys out there are thinking, what an idiot, how can you not know how to use a table saw.  Well, let’s recap, I didn’t take shop in high school, my dad never showed me how to do any of that stuff, and I never had a need to learn it…up to this point.  So, hence the aforementioned reality check.  Now, i’m an adult, or at least a very close replica.  I find myself, needing to know how to do these things…fortunately, the internet, and clinics exist to help lost souls like myself.  Which is why i’ve been annoying my cousin, sitting over his shoulder, asking stupid questions for the past week.  When my daughter asks me to build her a treehouse, I want to be able to say, “No problem, let me get my tools.” 

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Competitive Disadvantage

Posted on August 7, 2009 by

It occurred to me, in large part to responses to my last post, that there are many avenues for exercise these days.  I’ve got friends and family who reguarly run and swim and jump, most of whom do it for fun, and not because the cops are chasing them.  I’ve thought about these sorts of activities.  The problem for me, I don’t like doing things just for fun.  I’m way to competitive.  It’s my Dad’s fault.  I can’t just go run a 5K or train for a marathon…because after the race is over, unless I won, i’m going to be pissed off.  It’s sad really, i’ve always been that way. 

I’ll give you some examples.  I once played a pick up game at a local high school a few years back.  It was mostly high school and junior high kids playing, but my friend was one of the coaches and he asked me to play.  I went right down the lane and tried to dunk on a 12 year old 7th grader.  He fell over, and cried a little.  I was upset, not because I almost beheaded a 12 year old, but because he was in the way and I missed the dunk.  Classy.

And then there is this gem.  I allowed my stupid friends to convince me to run in this 5K race when I was an undergrad.  I was in considerably better shape then.  The girls and guys ran the race together, and when the race started, I was basically sprinting to get out in the front of the pack.  In the process, I elbowed a girl in the nose.  Currently she looks a bit like Owen Wilson. 

I grew up in a divided house in terms of perceptions of competition.  My mom was always the person to say, “you tried your hardest and that’s what counts.”  While my dad, who is a coach, would follow with, “That’s horseshit, you played like crap, go run a lap.”  Sadly, I actually prefer his approach.  Call me sadistic, but I don’t want to be told it’s ok if I didn’t win.  It makes me feel worse.  Ironically, I plan to approach my children more like my Mother approached me. Mostly because I don’t want them acting the way I do when it comes to competition. 

In truth, I think about training for a traithalon, or something tantamount to that.  I think there would be a certain degree of exhilaration and accomplishment to completing one.  But I know myself, when the race ends, I don’t want a concilation ribbon or “hey you finished.”  I want to stand on a podium and point at all the people I beat.  It’s so very sad.

chickenhateyou2

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