Spring is in the Air

Posted on March 12, 2009 by

Spring break is approaching.  God, I remember when that actually meant something.  Gone are the days of packing up the car and driving to wherever, for whatever.  My circumstances now, at face value, would come with some kind of hiatus.  Unfortunately, I have multiple jobs, which do not allow me to fully appreciate this time of year.  I suppose I should look on the brightside.  I don’t have class this week.  Which means for at least the next week I can forget that being a Ph.D student can occassionally feel like being a prisoner of war.  In addition, I don’t teach this week, as fortunately the spring breaks of the University I attend and the University I teach at alligned.  So, that just leaves the hospital.  Unfortunately, psychiatric hosptials do not have Spring Break.  Maybe they should look into it.  I’m sure the patients would enjoy at week at South Padre, instead of increased anti-psychotics and a marathon of Hogan’s Heroes.  My wife and I decided to salvage at least a portion of this week.  She is a student, and her Spring Break is this week as well.  So, midweek, we are flying to Charlotte.  I’d love to claim we planned this impromptu vacation to stick it to the man….but it’s somewhat work related, so that claim I cannot make.  There is a conference in Charlotte that I am presenting some research at.  It’s not a bad wrap, as my presentations shouldn’t take up to much time, and we can enjoy some vacation time.   We plan to spend some time with my good buddy Pat while in Charlotte, and take in some night life.  This will mark the second year we have attempted to turn a speaking event of mine, into a vacation.  I feel I set the bar a bit high last year with the Hawaii trip…making the trek to Charlotte seem a bit like following a top shelf scotch with a beer in a can.  I’ll save further judgement for post trip blogging.

Took in the Watchmen over the past weekend.  I really, really enjoyed this film.  I had read the graphic novel, which I highly recommend before viewing the film.  You won’t be completely lost without it, but it certainly provides some back story to really appreciate the subtext. 

In other news, march madness is on its way.  This is my absolute favorite time in the sporting year.  Baseball, which is the cancer of sports, isn’t on enough yet to be annoying, so I can focus on college basketball.  I have friends that don’t like college basketball, they are more NBA fans.  I like basketball in general.  But it’s hard for me to make a case for NBA over college.  It’s obviously not a talent issue.  There is far more talent in the NBA game.  It’s more of the ambiance.  You’re never going to go to an NBA game and see and hear the things you will at Phog Allen Fieldhouse, or Cameron Indoor.  You would also never find people in tents outside the stadium for weeks and weeks, just to get the chance to get a ticket to an NBA game.  You may find people in tents outside NBA arenas, but those people are homeless, and they will stab you.  No, the NBA just doesn’t have the same fanbase.  It’s just not the same.  I honestly would stay home for the next three weeks and watch college basketball, if I wouldn’t get fired, and my wife wouldn’t leave me.  A few weeks ago, my wife and I drove to Lawrence, KS.  We went to Phog Allen Fieldhouse and watched a basketball game.  This was the second time I’d been there.  I’ve been to dozens of spurs games, and a few mavericks games….and the noise level pales in comparison.  I love the NBA, but it’s just not as interesting as college basketball.  I typically catch a few marquee NBA matchups on tv during the regular season, but don’t take a vested interest until the playoffs.   Until then, I’ll let Linda Cone and John Buccigross give me the NBA rundown on Sportscenter.

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Down with the Sickness

Posted on March 4, 2009 by

So, I hope you’ll forgive my brief hiatus from writing.  I have found myself locked in a bitter clash against the sickness.  The sickness, referring of course to the amalgamation of several illness collaborating to haunt me.  I miss the days of feeling ill as a result of being up late, having one too many cocktails, or entertaining guests into the late hours.  Now, the sickness arrives as a result of my children attending daycare.  Or as I call it, the giant infested petri dish.  I liken the daycare environment to the nursing home environment.  Sadly, there are far to many people present and far to few care providers.  And when I arrive, not unlike the nursing home, the kids run to me as if they have spent all day digging ditches while being whipped with leather straps.  There is nothing quite like the look of utter relief on the faces of my children when I show up to pick them up from daycare.  I imagine my daughter huddled up in the corner in a barracade she has made with legos, writing a journal, (I know she’s 2, but I’m working in metaphor here people so back off) praying for a miracle.  My sweet little Zoey, the Anne Frank of the daycare. 

In truth, i’m told that children need to get sick to build their immunity.  I understand that, and it makes sense.  Unfortunately, I am almost thirty, and I don’t need to “build my immunity.”  The flu they bring home that may be a necessary evil for them, is raping my immune system.  It’s not the kids fault, they are young, they have no idea we are passing the sickness around like a beach ball at a Nickleback concert.  So, at this point, I must pause, and take a pill or two….

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Let’s talk about sex

Posted on February 13, 2009 by

Rather than spend this morning typing a laundry list of things I am upset about, as per usual.  I thought I’d share some stories.  I had a student email me this week, with a very interesting query.  He wanted to know if he should tell someone that a friend, whom remained nameless, had been huffing paint.  My response of course, was that if he didn’t want his friend spending the rest of his life ordering coloring books online, then yes he should intervene.  Of course, I suspected that “he” was his “friend”,  and followed up with a few questions of my own.  An ancillary function of any teaching job, is often listening and offering advice to students that trust you.  This situation represented one of those moments.  More often than not, the questions I get are less serious.  In fact, frequently, the questions are so strange, that it takes compelete muscle control not to burst into laughter.  The following examples apply:

“You said that semen is 40% glucose, then why does it taste so salty?”

Yes, this was a real question, in a human sexuality course I taught, as was the following question:

“Is it possible to get someone pregnant from oral sex?”

Sometimes, it’s simply statements that are made, as in:

“My boyfriend’s doctor told him he had to have sex at least three times a week to regulate his bood sugar. He’s diabetic.”

And it’s not just the ladies:

“Yeah, but masturbation in the morning will prevent pregancy for the day because you get rid  of all the semen in the morning.” 

Now, I am not making fun of my students, so don’t assume I am.  Although, reading these quotes again, makes me chuckle.  It’s more of a social commentary on a lacking sex education system in this country.  I mean, the sad thing is, these are not junior high students, not high school studnets.  I teach at the collegiate level.  These are undergraduate students.  If they get to this age level, with a terribly skewed understanding of human sexuality…there is a problem.  Statistically, 80% of these students have had some kind of sexual encounter already.  Would you want your kids going to the gun range, with the idea in there head that bullets taste like skittles.  Probably not.  Well, it’s equally dangerous to let them leave the home everyday with a incomplete picture of the ins and outs (no pun intended) of sexuality.  They need to understand the risks and rewards associated with the acts. 

Otherwise, they will end up satire, on my blog…for all to see.

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The Fragile Absolute: Or, Why Does My Neighbor Have So Many Damn Cats

Posted on February 4, 2009 by

This weekend was interesting.  A good friend of mine, who is an assistant coach for the Nebraska University men’s basketball team, got me courtside tickets to the Texas Tech vs. Nebraska game.  I say this, not to brag about my seats, but as it is pertinent to the “interesting part of the story.”    We were front and center for the Tech coach’s most embarassing tirade.  I usually have a soft spot, both for coaches in general, and for people who lose their temper.  Unfortunately, this particular incident  goes beyond losing one’s temper.  I was about ten feet from children, who also had front row seats for an onslaught of profanity that would make George Carlin turn over in his grave.  As the coach proceeded to point to everyone on the court, and greet them with a feverish “f – you,”  I couldn’t help but laugh.  I know he was upset, and maybe looking to defend his team and grab back some momentum, but it was all a little over-the-top.  And over-the-top is never good, unless it’s starring Stallone. 

In addition, I began rereading The Fragile Absolute this weekend.  Not an easy read, by any stretch of the imagination, but profound, and meaningful to me on many levels.  Zizek’s explanation of meaning within the image of Malevich’s Black Box, is brilliant.  I really want to pick up In Defence of Lost Causes, if anyone has picked this up, I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

The Fragile Absolute
The Fragile Absolute

In completely unrelated news, I have discovered that I do not like cats.  I don’t care for them.  I was discussing with my wife, over lunch, that I man shouldn’t have a cat.   Actually, if you are married, have kids, are living with someone else (of the opposite sex), or have a severe mouse problem, then yes, you may have a cat.  Otherwise, it’s weird.  They’re weird.  I realize they were to the Egyptians, what cows are to the Hindu, or what fast food restaurants are to Americans, but I cannot tolerate the presence of a feline.  I’m not allergic, it’s pure contempt.  My neighbor has, I don’t know….eleventy five cats.  They crawl over the fence and into my yard, where they proceed to leave steaming piles of insolence on my grass.  I’ve been scooping it up for about a month, putting into a 40 gallon trashcan.  When it fills, i’ll be dumping the contents on her porch.  Nothing drives a point home like 40 gallons of cat shit. 

Well, that’s about all the randomness I can offer today.   Once again, my blog appears tangential.  I’ll save the planning and outlining for my dissertation. 

 

 

 

 

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Happy Birthday Mom: Why Age is Irrelevant

Posted on January 29, 2009 by

So, today is my mother’s birthday.  I am fairly certain she does not read this blog, so I can confidently tell you she is 51.  I recall a time when I thought that was old.  This morning I played dominoes with an 80 year old man.  I might add, I was feverishly defeated.  It was at the point towards the end of the game, when the man laid down his final domino and said to me, “in your face,”  that I realized age is so very subjective.  So, mother, if you do happen upon this blog, know that I won’t think of you as old, until you lose your sense of humor and start cursing at me incoherently.

In all seriousness, working with a primarily geriatric population has been eye opening in terms of the great existential questions.  Finding meaning when your body, mind, and in many cases families, have given up on you is certainly something worthy of discussion.  I’m floored by my experiences in this position, and certain i’m changed for the better. 

It’s been unusually cold here for the past couple of days, which has caused the typical West Texas panic.  Shut down the schools, cancel work, stockpile fruits, nuts, and bottled water.  It’s all very strange.  I often wonder if people here think people up north don’t do shit for three months of the year.  If a cold winter wind sweeps through West Texas and drops an inch of snow, entire communities shut down.  Nevertheless, I being a colossal hypocrite, enjoyed my hiatus from class. 

I’ll keep this post short, and absolutely free of any point.

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Sprechen Sie Ignorance

Posted on January 24, 2009 by

It’s been some time since my last post.   I blame the current political zeitgeist for my hiatus from blogging.  I got caught up, and I’m not ashamed to say it.  I don’t know if you heard…but change is coming.  It’s all a bit euphoric really.  I hope i’m not alone when I say that my excitement about the possibilities for the future were squashed within 20 minutes of the inaguration.  That’s about how long it took for the crack squad over at Fox News to get ahold of the Obama change train and quickly derail the shit out of it.  It was a bit like watching an overweight middle school kid opening his lunch pale to reveal healthy, life sustaining food….and then watching the kid wet himself and scream anarchy.  I was convinced after watching them pick apart everything from the grip Obama had on his bible during the oath to the Guantanamo closure, that the progress this country can make will be largely ignored.  I can chalk it up to ignorance, or anger due to losing the election, but I prefer to call it obstructionism.  If your unfamiliar with this concept, look up Rush Limbaugh in the dictionary.  It’s somewhere between Putz and Vicodin.  So, all that to say, this election may turn out to be bittersweet for many of us.  It’s great to have new leadership, and leadership that may actually have the country’s best interests at heart, but it’s unfortunate that we will continue to have to listen to the media find ways to break the masses spirit.  Fox News, I salute you.  You are officially the ugly girl at the party that takes all her much more attractive roommates home early.

In other news, my baby girl Maya turns 1 next Friday.  I was going to get her a pop-up version of  Thus Spoke Zarathustra, but wasn’t sure how eternal recurrence of the same would translate to the pop-up world.  So, I guess I’ll have to settle for Dr. Suess.  There’s merit there…he is a Doctor after all. 

I suppose i’ll end by saying that despite my aforementioned cynicism, I am pleased about the change of guard, and will view the cup of this nation half-full (despite Fox’s attempts to fill the other half with urine).  Ghandi said “we must become the change we want to see.” So, the impetus is on each of us.

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Ebeneezer Berry

Posted on December 12, 2008 by

So this was an interesting week.  The Juice is off to the hooskow, Oprah is chubby again, and Pamela Anderson, like so many beautiful women, still has hepatitis.  But enough about things nobody cares about. 

It occurred to me this week, that while the holidays are just around the corner, i’m not feeling that chill of anxiety.  Does this year just feel different?  Maybe its the economy, or the pending “annhilation of the earth by our new president elect” (stupid…stupid…stupid people).  I actually think it has a lot to do with global warming.  So this christmas, when you are wrapping gifts, or rather unwrapping them, and you reveal a new prisitine mint condition turtle neck.  Before you cuss your aunt, whom you haven’t spoken too in a year, think about Al Gore.  Think about his Nobel Prize for pointing out that we may possibly be polluting the earth.  Then think about the million dollar prize that comes with that…and then cuss Al Gore.  This is not an attempt to be coy.  It’s a little like giving him a Nobel Prize for inventing the Internet.   Hey, can I have a Nobel Prize for saying that slavery was a bad idea?  All of that to say, the holidays this year do not come with an air of excitement. 

I don’t actually blame Al Gore for this years lackluster holiday build-up.  I submit that it’s a collection of circumstances, smashing together like an atom, to form one giant reason to hate this season.  Money, it appears, does not stretch as far this season.  In addition, I have a lot of household construction to do, which will encompass most of my free time.  I also realize that as I’ve gotten older, it’s not longer socially acceptable to get excited by the presence of tiny men in costumes….it may be considered latently homosexual to do so.  I don’ t know…i’m not a scientist.  I do know, that knocking over children to get to “the good toys” in a store is looked upon with annihilating contempt.  (Yeah I saw that look fat soccer mom)  So, this year, the thrill is gone.  I have family and friends coming in, and I think this is that year i’ve been warned about.  Where I stand in the road and look back at the kids eating candy, playing with toys, and urinating in the snow….and I have to turn away and walk over to the other side, where the parents are arguing, balancing their checkbooks, and wearing turtle necks.  I think the Grinch may have had the right idea…

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Visions of Sugar Plums and Violent Shoppers

Posted on December 6, 2008 by

Well, I suppose it’s been long overdue.  Nobody loves the sound of their own voice as I do, and reading my own words is a close second.  And since I may very well be the only eyes on this blog, I feel quite comfortable sharing any and everything that comes to mind. 

So, introductions aside, assuming you have reviewed my profile, I thought I’d start by dicussing something very important.  The holidays are ridiculous.  It’s supposed to be a time to share and laugh, and sing and dance, blah blah.  It’s actually quite stressful.  Now that I have children, the gift giving is much more fun, but I still feel overwhelming contempt for everyone around me, most specifically when standing in line at a department store.  Oh how I long for department stores to be replaced by cloning laboratories, or sperm banks, or sperm cloning laboratory banks.  I’d be content doing my shopping from the comfort of my home on the Internet, in between youtube downloads and my good buddy Patrick’s blog.  Unfortunately, tis the season to get angry and argue with a complete stranger about who has the rights to the last tickle me ironman or whatever.  That being said, the holidays are ridiculous.

Well, in the interest of time, and not scaring off potential blog readers, I’ll keep this short.  I thought I’d mention I just finished reading Sherman Alexie’s Flight, after hearing about it on a friends blog (Google Patrick Whitfill’s Blog).  Excellent book, it’ll hit you where it needs to, and you will not regret picking it up.  In addition, anothe semester in the Texas Tech doctoral program has ended, and i’m certainly looking forward to putting the textbooks down and reading for fun over the holidays.  Patty, if you catch this… I need another book list!

To all ye holiday shoppers…go home, put down the doll and back away.  Cheap plastic toys with lead paint are not worth getting trampled or beaten for.

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